My husband turned 31 last week. This was taken outside where we went to celebrate his birthday breakfast, complete with magician and waffles.
And here are some of the things I noticed about him the day we first met-
1- He has way better eyelashes than I do
2- His kindness
3- His interest in Japanese and world cinema (it’s ALWAYS about the hot mind)!!!
And yet when I tell my husband these things he laughs or smiles or shifts a bit awkwardly, because they’re just so normal to him it feels weird anyone else pointing them out.
Those things about yourself that every day you take for granted because they’re just so normal?
That’s what your clients also want to see when they discover you for the very first time.
Yet we hold back on sharing every day because why? well, why Charlie, Why is that even interesting?
We hold on to the idea that our lives, our everyday reality, really couldn’t be of interest-
Even worse! Cling on to some misguided notions of acceptance of our reality like it’s somehow ok to BE commonplace, mundane, boring – which actually I think is a lie that you’re wearing because it fits you well, comfortable slipper –
But the reality, the truth?
Those places you go for coffee that are quirky, unique
The way you line up your books in colours because they’re pretty that way
The way you wear your hair
The way you take your coffee and the way you like the stillness of the winter morning sun and your old polaroid you cling to and the notebooks next to your bed–
All of those things
To those who need to see them-
They’re magical. And you need to stop pretending that they’re not or even pretending you’re ok with the fact that you think they’re not, because the reality is you’re STILL hiding yourself away by covering up yourself with words like BORING because you think nobody would find YOU of any interest even if YOU ARE OK WITH LABELLING YOURSELF AS THAT
Reality – every human being on this earth in someway has magic and wonder tied up inside of them. Maybe we lose it somewhere along the road, maybe we get twisted in horror and terror and fear, but we are born with greatness inside each one of us-
And to hide it away, to label it as comfortable and ok and boring and not worthy of sharing???
Dimming your light. Refusing to shine.
But of course! safer when you don’t, a RISK when you do-
And I don’t even mean sharing in the way that HEY, this is what I did / do / on Instagram which everyone knows is the highly edited version of yourself that’s usually so far cultivated from reality it’s an actual PARODY of who you are and who you WANT to be,
I’m talking about being raw, honest, open.
My email that I sent out that gained the most response? The one where I talked about my bulimia.
The point was – if you’re setting out, even with the very best intentions of sharing ‘useful information’;
You’re already about a decade behind in terms of marketing but not only that-
What about the part of you that NEEDS to be seen
DO you know –
I EVEN HATE TALKING ABOUT HOW I’M A MASSIVE INTROVERT / HERMIT who likes to hide away in her little crystal island cove because for me all of those things STILL come with some level of SHAME and make me want to run away-
I ALSO hate talking about my children online because deep down I have a weird fear of internet stalkers and weirdos
and that by sharing images of me and my children and our life online, those who need to hear the message that it is PERFECTLY POSSIBLE to be a great parent have an incredible marriage AND run a successful business, get to hear it?
What about for every person who thinks, oh blah, boring
Because this isn’t about YOU, this is about your message being far bigger than you, and realising that even when you think nobody is reading or watching or listening, showing up anyway even if and usually ESPECIALLY when
It feels hard
It feels like, actually, the biggest challenge of your day to just share or create whatever is on your heart however RAW that feels
THE MAGIC IS THE MESS
THE MESS IS YOUR MESSAGE
YOUR MESSAGE IS SUPPOSED TO BE MESSY
And how you know? When you feel as though you’re sitting on the edges of your comfort zone. When you feel like you’re sharing something you know you feel slightly sick about sharing, that feels actually, sometimes not even just uncomfortable but actually, painful-
Because there is a little myth that exists right now that being in business should be EASY. And actually; getting the money, the clients? all can definitely come pretty easily!
But the REAL WORK comes when you have to take those leaps that make you feel nauseous –
Invest in that mentoring program
Write the post
Share the reality
Protect your time
DO the REAL work- self discipline, commitment, understanding your vision and your bigger picture and digging deeper and deeper and deeper into what you want to do and what you’re here for-
None of which, is easy.
It isn’t supposed to be.
But the point of DOING IT, is to DISCOVER THE MAGIC WITHIN and the strength and the true glory and to use THAT to HELP others and indeed yourself!!but you don’t get to the magic when you’re hiding it away and pretending it doesn’t matter.
So here’s my deal – if you know this, right now is what you’re doing-
Make the commitment. This week, TODAY- to show up FULLY and talk about something just ever so slightly out of your comfort zone.
And you know what, maybe nobody will respond, nobody will reply, and indeed people may think X about you –
But what truly matters is you moving one step closer to where your real magic lies, and one step closer to those who need to see it.