Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could just wake up every single morning and know concretely exactly what steps you had to take that day in order to live your dream business + life?
I had a call with my coach this morning, and before we got on the call I had a minor panic – was there something that I was meant to be doing here? Something I was supposed to be asking or thinking about?
And I realised – I didn’t know what I needed to know.
This was a massive block for me. I’ve created my dream business again, I’ve got no problem taking a business to the six figure mark, achieving my goals of becoming an Amazon Number One Bestseller, of following my dreams for a laptop lifestyle and business and moving my whole family to the other side of Europe for a wilder, sunnier life. Of helping to lead the 5000+ women (and men)! I have on my email list to greater things, to empowering others to take control over their business + life, and for them to understand what it truly means to take their business and life to the cliched ‘next level’.
Those things? No problemo.
BEYOND those things?
I realised I was LOST!! What if I want to take my business to a MILLION? What if I want to empower 100,000 women? What if I want a NY Times Bestseller? What if I want to do a Tedx talk? To be a greater parent and to travel all over the world again?
Well, I don’t know those things because I haven’t done them before! Says the voice of excuses.
What is it YOU want your business to do, your life to be like, your choices to be?
How on earth do you find out exactly what areas you are truly struggling beyond those which are bloody obvious?
And what if, actually, you have a GREAT business right now, like I do, but you know it has the potential to be SO MUCH more, and help more, and grow more, and basically because your secret dream is to actually REVOLUTIONISE your industry and impact the lives of others and instill art and creativity and love and passion and freedom into those you meet and work with?
If you have a business which is great, it can be pretty tough to pinpoint what areas need to be worked on to get to beyond where it is you are at now.
And this is what I have been struggling with lately.
But the real problem here?
Is that I felt ASHAMED of my success.
If you’ve read some of my previous posts or newsletters you’ll know I felt like I didn’t deserve this incredible house we are living in, don’t deserve to spend four hours a day working then the rest of the day on the beach / by the pool / playing with the kids
Which is kind of totally insane, but there it is.
It made me GUTTED to realise that it had been a BREEZE for me to get this business to six figures;
a no -brainer for me to pack up the kids and hub and move 5000 miles away with nothing but a couple of suitcases;
while I work with people who are going through the most painful and hurtful changes and on occasion their life and business even if on the surface looks incredible- is actually smashing all over the floor.
I felt GUILTY for that.
Not because I couldn’t help because I know I can, if you show up and do the work you’ll achieve incredible things but sometimes that transformation is beyond painful and it’s hard and that hurts me to see it because I’ve been there, and to see that FIGHT you have with yourself if only you reach beyond or a little further and you will be there, you’ll get where you need to be, but you’re not yet and that makes me feel guilty-
and weirdly or not so weirdly I felt guilty when I had success with my photography business too, when some of my photographer friends used to tell me ‘you’re so LUCKY’ or ‘ stuff like that never happens to me’ or ‘why does this happen to you and not me? What’s wrong with me?’ and ‘how come you find clients but I don’t, but we live in the same area, shoot the same way, market in the same way?’
But the thing is that GUILT wasn’t a result of success. It was something that had followed me my entire business and life.
Guilty when I had my first client.
Guilty when I got booked for some overseas booking that I knew someone else really wanted.
Guilty I was at my laptop when the baby was crying.
Guilty that I write blog posts on my phone when putting them to bed – they’re asleep by this point obviously, it’s not like im writing a post at the same time as reading them a story, but shouldn’t I just be you know, enjoying the darkness and the peace of lying with them instead of wishing they would hurry up and fall asleep so I can finish the post???
Guilty Guilty Guilty ugh!
Nevermind the fact I had spent TEN YEARS running my own business, had endured business complete failure and all of the BS that goes along with that, had got into fifty GRAND’s worth of debt studying and learning my craft and doing what I had to in order to know what I needed to know-
nevermind the THOUSANDS of hours I had spent since my early teens reading motivational, inspiring books on coaching and mindset and motivation;
nevermind the single bloody mindedness for ambition and creativity and dreams which cost me relationships and friendships along the way;
nevermind that I get to spend half a day every single day and get up with them in the morning and put them to bed most nights and I’m rarely EVER away with work because that’s what I have CHOSEN;
nevermind all of that which I think most people would say as a result- girl, you deserve ALL of it because it’s not like I don’t WORK for it
And the first thing then in realising and identifying what it is you NEED TO KNOW in order to grow your business and move it forward, rather than stabbing around in the darkness assuming you are doing the right thing-
Is to pinpoint first exactly what it is holding you back.
I had been so wrapped up in the GUILT that it was holding me back from putting myself forward. I was hiding!! Like so many of us do.
Afraid of standing out, always wanting to play smaller rather than bigger, worried about the repercussions or what people might think if we dare show people our greatness or even not our greatness but our REALITY- because how hard is it to truly put THAT out there, the reality and not the gloss and six figure throwarounds or publication credits though for some reason we even have trouble capitalising on THAT and instead we think a few status updates and shares are ‘enough’ (heaven forbid you celebrate further you bigheaded ass)
So what is it then? What is it, exactly, that is holding you back from full expansion in all areas of your business and life?
And if you don’t know where or why you are holding back and you tell yourself it’s because
‘I just don’t know what else to do!’
or you are one of those looking at others with envy as their business skyrockets and yours stays the same despite you on the surface at least taking the exact same steps-
Look honestly at the areas in your life + business that you want to change-
Identify areas that you believe could be stronger
- lack of faith
whatever areas you KNOW could be stronger for you, and ask yourself firstly how do I feel about these areas right now? And for each one, where is it I want to move towards and into?
What would each area of your life and business that needs strengthening actually look like to you if they were fully expanded, or at least on the journey to complete expansion and happiness? And then how would you actually be living out all of those things?
I started asking myself these questions and very quickly I realised that it was the guilt about my lifestyle holding me back from fully embracing my creativity and visibility, and this as a knock on effect was holding me back from being more visible in terms of SALES >>> which is absolutely something that you need to be doing every single day by the way >>>
and in terms of consistency, I felt GUILT showing up to my business every day because I felt guilty that I have this when others do not!
But that’s just another non-reality when the truth is, ANYONE can have this, if they choose,
ANYONE can do what I do or even better can do it in a way that is very much their own,
and so the GUILT then was actually detrimental even to the people I work with because how can I show people that it is possible to make these choices if I wasn’t showing up with any kind of real regularity or consistency?!?!
Not that I will always be regular or consistent, I am a messy creative after all, but at least recognising what it is exactly that is preventing you from moving forward will then help you to understand concretely which areas you want to be stronger in, and when you understand THAT, and how it is impacting your business and probably your life, this is where you start to understand what specifically it is you need to know and work on!
So in the same way my guilt had impacted my confidence which had impacted how much I was prepared to stand out and be visible; what is it right now you REALLY need to know and understand, in order to identify those areas which you know right now aren’t probably expanding in the way they could be?
And just as a word of warning here, this stuff IS hard and it ISN’T easy and it will take time and effort, and you will probably avoid doing it because you think it doesn’t matter as much as a task like… SEO, or blogging, or even going out there and finding your clients…
All of those things, are so important, and they keep your business alive.
But do they keep it flourishing, moving onwards continuously, reaching those people who need to see and hear what you are so focussed on creating?
Do they launch you into success, or keep you trundling along?
Do you get so caught up in the ‘must-dos’ of business that we *think* matters, but as you reach higher and higher levels of success and you kind of plateau and reach a ceiling and you’re a bit stuck being super-busy and a little or ok a LOT frustrated at the lack of progress or at least slow progress, yet you’re quite sure there isn’t much more you COULD be doing???
This, then. To find out what you need to know>>> figure out which areas you first want to strengthen, and right now, what they are looking like for you as a daily reality. What practical steps are you doing or not doing and WHY not, beyond the excuses?
Figure out what you need to know based on how you feel about each area, and choose to use THAT to break out of the stage you are at now and on to your next level of success.
Love and Light xo
Want to know how to move your business beyond *this stage* and step into greatness in all areas?
Shining Lights is now open to ALL creative business owners because I know this stuff is POWERFUL and should not be confined to one genre or way of working or style or whatever!
AND because it is the one year anniversary of Shining Lights next week, I’m going to do something I’ve never done before, and probably never will again so don’t miss this >>>
When you join Shining Lights between NOW and this coming Sunday 13th, I’m not only going to give you your first month at HALF PRICE but ALSO
*if you want to learn how to get your work out there in a way that feels AUTHENTIC and generates you rave attention AND sales
*if you want to know how to truly attract and resonate with your clients and enable them to understand that HELLO? YOU are the ONLY one they need (aka competition >> dominated)
*if you want to know how to word your sites and pages in a way that sounds totally AWESOME and basically WORKS to convert your clients
I’m going to be gifting to you my entire Storyteller program too. This is an 8-week long intensely powerful program which will teach you how to elevate your business and branding using your wording and your marketing message. Wait- there is more-
AND >>> for you, personally>>> PRIVATE ONE TO ONE COACHING.
For anyone who has been following this for a while now, you’ll know this is a HUGE thing. It’s the most powerful and transformative work you can do in your business and it can really shine a light into those areas that really need work and get you understanding what you REALLY need to do to get there.
These laser sessions have previously been reserved for JUST my VIP programs which start at $1200, and there will ONLY be ten available, so don’t miss this.